John Mayer...

John FUCKING Mayer.... that's what I say.

He may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, nor the dullest, but the most useful.


I among the rest of the world am half way obsessed with this cynical man. There is not one thing that drives me away from anything about him.

Lately, I decided to follow his blog. No I am not a creep. I am just a devoted gal to one of the most intriguing men on this planet. Afar from Gandhi and Yoda he has dearly made himself an asset in my life. In the back of my head I always put myself in a situation to where I would find myself living out everyone of his songs. May be weird but i never find myself bored and lonely when i do this. I also dream and wonder about what it's like to be him and or one of his entourage of lovers.

I don't think in anyway John is physically attractive. His ghost like skin and massive hair growth creeps me out. But when you are so whimsical like him, I see past every flaw that he has or may have. Being a shallow, critical, man hating bitch, he is the only one I can make an exception for.

Despite his Playboy interview and his very disrespectful view on black women, I love him even more for it. Yes I am white, so I would not take any offense to it. I am not racist either, well maybe toward Asians, but not at all toward Black people. I have my reasons. But I think who can tell the truth, who can get away with murder. I am just waiting for the moment when him and Chelsea Handler decide to exchange hands. Boy, would that be something. John Mayer is such a mystical man.

His shallow ways and mind process is somewhat endearing. If there were anyone I would want to have a deep heart to heart conversation with besides my best friend it would be him. Why search for a man when I have found mine. He never seems to disappoint, name one man besides George W. Bush (haha) who has done this?

On good or bad days, each night I fall asleep to his newest album Battle Studies. I wouldn't want anyone Else's voice to serenade me to my dreams. I love that he loves to write and he takes the time to blog about his thoughts, because people like me truly do appreciate his unfaithful words. I can listen to him all day but if you ask me if i believe everything he says or sings about I would say no. I mean he is trying to make a living here, so if that means half the time he has to make up some poetical bullshit or sing another mans words, he is doing it.

Dear John Mayer,

In the circumstance that I were ever to meet you and, or just be in clear eye sight of you, I probably will happen to completely shut down and have limited brain waves to explain to you my never ending love towards you. I say most of it in this blog entry. I left out all the nasty, playful, things I would share with you beneath the sheets or on the kitchen table....

Yours Truly,
-Ash